Cannonball Run: Carmageddon
by TimX7
Summary: The first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. With 300 million up for grabs, everybody wants the money. No this is not a remake of Cannonball Run 3: World Tour by Charles Xavier
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything in this fic. Nothing at all. Unless there is some of my original characters.

**Title: Cannonball Run Carmageddon**

**Author: GenerationX7**

**Summary: The first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. With $300 million up for grabs, everybody wants the money.**

**Author's Notes: Since the original CRC was out of date. I decided to redo it and update the cast. But there are only thirty teams. I decided on thirty, because I didn't want a huge cast. The huge cast is going to be for Cannonball Run 6. For the vehicles I'm going to be using all of the pimped out cars from Pimp My Ride, but I gave them their own unique name; depending on the team. With the exception of Team Hazzard and Team Chopper; as Team Chopper's vehicles are going to be bikes, like the Freeway from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and the police bike from the show. The bad guys are going to use vehicles from GTA: San Andreas and the security will use police cars from the Midnight Club series. My cameos and other special guests isn't finished. So I'll add to that as I go along.**

**Chapter 1: Beginning of the race**

Brock Yates, founder of the Cannonball Run and writer of Car and Driver Magazine, walked through the White House by Secret Service agents. One agent opened the door to the Oval Office and introduced Brock to the President of the United States.

"Mr. President, Brock Yates is here." the agent said as Brock walked into the Oval Office. George W. Bush took a bite of his lomein noodles and put the carton down on his desk.

"Please have a seat Mr. Yates." George said. Brock took a seat. "I wanted to talk to you about putting a world wide Cannonball Run together."

"Mr. President, I'm not organizing the Cannonball Run anymore." Brock said.

"I know, but you're the only one to put this organize. Right now I have the whole United Nations excited to see a world wide race. Especially a race that is well know as the Cannonball Run."

"I had no idea my race was so popular."

"It is and they have signed a document that will allow the Cannonballers to get a pardon if they're caught. Though there will be some resistance to this document."

"But why the Cannonball Mr. President? Why my race?" Brock said.

"The way I see it Mr. Yates. Is that the Cannonballers of the '81 and '84 Cannonballs were a symbol of peace. Right now we need the world to see these racers from all over the world gathering to compete and to race together."

"But how are the Cannonballers going to get from one continent to the other?"

"Simple Mr. Yates. Bridges, the United Nations had the best minds in this mixed up and crazy world design bridges to the continents of the world. So what do you say Mr. Yates? Can we give this international Cannonball a shot?" George was really anxious to hold the Cannonball Run. Brock signed.

"Yes we can but I have to get my team of organizers together." Brock said.

"Great, terrific, well lets get started." George said. "By the way I'll sign the pardon document to signal the start of the Cannonball Run. Do we have a starting line?"

"Yes we do Mr. President. It will be in New York City, near Liberty Island. We'll have $300 million for first place, $200 million for second and $100 million for third."

"Sounds terrfic. Lets hold a press conference and tell the world. The Cannonball is back and the Cannonballers are going to race for peace and money."

**Miami, Florida**

Brian O' Conner just won another street race. As the losers cough over their money or in one racer's case, his car. A bald man approached Brian.

"Well I don't freaking believe it." the man said. Brian knew the voice from somewhere and quite frankly it was a surprise. He turned around to face the man.

"Dominic Toretto?" Brian asked. In fact it was Dominic.

"Its been a long time Brian. Did you get fired from your job for failing to bring me in?" Dominic asked the age old question he had on his mind.

"Well yeah. So now I'm racing here. Come on, I just won a new car and I was hoping that we can catch up on old times while we take the car on a joy ride."

"Sure thing lead the way."

Brian led Dominic over to a 1989 Nission 240 SX. It is painted green graphics. It has orange neon lights on the bottom, green neon lights on the inside, a total of six monitors in the trunk, 12" fusions woofers in the trunk, indiglo gauges, racing seats, auto meter gauge pod, a clock and a volt meter. Lets not forget the three Xboxes hooked up together with a wireless adaptors, wireless controllers and a few video games, including Halo 1 and 2.

Dominic was in awe as Brian got into the driver's side. Soon Dominic climbed in as they heard police sirens.

"I'll call this the Furious." Brian said.

"You're naming the car?"

Brian nodded as he started it and drove off. The police began chasing the Furious throughout the streets of Miami. As the opening credits and the opening song began to play.

**Song: "Around the World" by Move**

_Stanly Smith (American Dad)_

_Francine Smith (American Dad)_

_Roger (American Dad)_

_Hayley Smith (American Dad)_

_Steve Smith (American Dad)_

_Fuu (Samurai Champloo)_

_Mugen (Samurai Champloo)_

_Jin (Samurai Champloo)_

_Harvey Birdman (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)_

_Avenger (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)_

_Peanut (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)_

_Phil (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)_

The Furious sped through the streets of Miami. Dodging and avoiding police cars as it headed towards the city limits.

_Tornado Shanks (Sealab 2021)_

_Sparks (Sealab 2021)_

_Marco (Sealab 2021)_

_Stormy (Sealab 2021)_

_Brendon Small (Home Movies)_

_Coach McGuirk (Home Movies)_

_Melissa (Home Movies)_

_Jason (Home Movies)_

_Kazuma (s-CRY-ed)_

_Kimishima (s-CRY-ed)_

_Space Ghost (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)_

_Moltar (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)_

_Zorak (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)_

_Adam Sessler (X Play)_

_Big C (Street Fury)_

_Jason Bateman as Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)  
Michael Cera as George-Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)  
Will Arnett as George Oscar "Gob" Bluth (Arrested Development)  
Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth Sr. (Arrested Development)  
Ron Howard as narrator (Arrested Development)_

_Carl Johnson (Gradn Theft Auto: San Andreas)_

_Sean "Sweet" Johnson (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)_

_Cesar Vialpando (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)_

_Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Louis Alex Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)_

_Moneky D. Luffy (One Piece)_

_Nami (One Piece) _

_Usopp (One Piece)_

_Sanji (One Piece)_

_Fayt Leingod (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)_

_Mirage Koas (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)_

_Maria Traydor (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)_

_Cliff Fittir (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)_

_Dim (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_Dan (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_JT (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_Fighter (8-Bit Theater)_

_Black Mage (8-Bit Theater)_

_Thief (8-Bit Theater)_

_Red Mage (8-Bit Theater)_

_Ethan (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)_

_Lucas (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)_

_Scott (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)_

_Ted (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)_

_Paul Walker as Brian O' Conner (The Fast and the Furious)_

_Vin Diseal as Dominic Toretto (The Fast and the Furious)_

_Razputen/Raz (Psychonauts)_

_Nick Scryer (Psi Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy)_

_Christian (Little Gamers)_

_Mr. Madsen (Little Gamers)_

_Marcus (Little Gamers)_

_Johnny Knoxville as Luke Duke (Dukes of Hazzard)_

_Sean William Scott as Bo Duke (Dukes of Hazzard)_

The Furious drove down a alley while being chased three police cars. The Furious came out of the other end as two police cars turned the corner. The lead car ran into the other and caused some serious damage to the front ends.

_Paul Teutal Sr. (American Chopper)_

_Paul Teutal Jr. (American Chopper)_

_Mikey Teutal (American Chopper)_

_Waterman (Waterman flash cartoons)_

_Ice Cream Girl (Waterman flash cartoons)_

_Mr.Dillo (Waterman flash cartoons)_

_Pal (Waterman flash cartoons)_

_Roy Bot (Waterman flash cartoons)_

_Jeff Foxworthy_

_Bill Engvall_

_Larry the Cable Guy_

_Victor Browne as Tyler Reed (Tremors: The Series)_

_Michael Gross as Burt Gummer (Tremors: The Series)_

_Lupin the 3rd (Lupin III)_

_Jigen (Lupin III)_

_Goemon (Lupin III)_

_Amuro Ray (Mobile Suit Gundam)_

_Kamille Bidan (Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam)_

_Triple H (World Wrestling Entertainment)_

_Ric Flair (World Wrestling Entertainment)_

_John Bradshaw Layfield (World Wrestling Entertainment)_

_Albert Wesker (Resident Evil)_

_Nicolai Givoneaf (Resident Evil 3: Nemesis)_

_Ariel (indy wrestler)_

_Cheerleader Melissa (indy wrestler)_

_Kayla Sparks (indy wrestler)_

_Miss Deville (indy wrestler)_

_Kratos (God of War)_

_Mega Man X (Mega Man X series)_

_Dante (Devil May Cry)_

_Head of Square Enix (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_Head of Capcom (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_Head of Konami (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)_

_Luther (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)_

_Sammael (Silent Hill 1 & 3)_

_Sauron (One Ring to Rule Them All flash cartoons)_

_Wayne the Goblin (One Ring to Rule Them All flash cartoons)_

_Osama Bin Laden (South Park Episode 509 and Team America: World Police)_

_Saddam Hussein (South Park)_

_Satan (South Park)_

_Maester Seymour (Final Fantasy X)_

_Alexia Ashford (Resident Evil Code: Veronica)_

_Revolver Ocelot (Metal Gear Solid games)_

_Albedo (Xenosaga)_

_Racing Drones (Hot Wheels Acceleracers)_

_Orc Soldiers (Lord of the Rings)_

_Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg (The Dukes of Hazzard)_

_M.C. Gainey as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (The Dukes of Hazzard)_

_Hiliary Swank as Sgt. Janice Foyt (original character)_

_Zap Branningan (Furturama)_

_Spike Spiegal (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Vash the Stampede (Trigun)_

_Jet (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Faye (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Edward (Cowboy Bebop)_

_Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)_

_Batou (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)_

_Tachikomas (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)_

_Stroker (Stroker and Hoop)_

_Hoop (Stroker and Hoop)_

_C.A.R.R. (Stroker and Hoop)_

_Hellboy (Hellboy)_

_Inu Yasha (Inu Yasha)_

_Miroku (Inu Yasha)_

_Sango (Inu Yasha)_

_Ratchet (Ratchet & Clank)_

_Clank (Ratchet & Clank)_

_Jak (Jak & Daxter)_

_Daxter (Jak & Daxter)_

_X (Mega Man X series)_

_Zero (Mega Man X series)_

_Axl (Mega Man X series)_

_Kira Yamato (Gundam Seed)_

_Athrun Zala (Gundam Seed)_

_Dearka Elthman (Gundam Seed)_

_Yzak Joule (Gundam Seed)_

_Nicol Amarfi (Gundam Seed)_

_Mr. Incredible (The Incredibles)_

_Elastigirl (The Incredibles)_

_Dash (The Incredibles)_

_Violet (The Incredibles)_

_John Madden (National Footbal League)_

_Jesse James (Monster Garage)_

_Big Schwag (Monster Garage)_

_Jeff Gordon_

_Dale Earnhart Jr._

_Coop (Megas XLR)_

_Haru Glory (Rave Master/Groove Adventures Rave)_

_Conan Edagawa/Jimmy Kudo (Detective Conan/Cased Closed)_

_Linkin Park_

_Trey Parker with Timmy and Lords of the Underworld (South Park)_

_Weird Al Yankovic_

_Cletus T. Judd_

_Metallica_

_Puffi Ami Yumi_

_Reel Big Fish_

_Meryl Silverburgh (Metal Gear Solid)_

_Emma Emmerich (Metal Gear Solid 2)_

_Rosemary (Metal Gear Solid 2)_

_Alia Shawkat as Mae "Maeby" Funke (Arrested Development)_

_Timothy Bottoms as George W. Bush (That's My Bush!)_

_Brock Yates_

_Burt Reynolds as J.J. McClure (Cannonball Run)_

_Dom Deluise as Victor Prinsi (Cannonball Run)_

_Willie Nelson as Uncle Jessie (The Dukes of Hazzard)_

_Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke (The Dukes of Hazzard)_

After minutes of outrunning the police. The Furious finally made it out of the city and onto the highway.

"So you're entering the Cannonball Run?" Dominic asked.

"Yes and I need a teammate. Wanna join?" Brian replied.

"Sure, so it'll be us and the Furious."

"Precisly."

Orange County, California...

_"While waiting for Gob and the start of the Cannonball, George-Michael went into his father's office to find the road atlas he thought they'd need. He ended up discovering a new level to his cousin Maeby's dark side."_

"What are you doing on my dad's computer?" asked George-Michael.

"Check this out." said Maeby. She directed George-Michael to read the online text. "Does this seem sexually explicit to you?"

_"It did. In fact, it was the most shockingly sexually explicit thing George-Michael had ever read."_

"What are you doing?" exclaimed George-Michael. "Who are you sending this to?"

"Gob." said Maeby.

"You're sending this to Gob?" asked George-Michael.

"Don't be so shocked." said Maeby. "It's not like this is the first one."

"How long have you been doing this?" asked George-Michael.

"I dunno." said Maeby. "How long has your dad had this e-mail address?"

_"Not wanting to hear anymore, George-Michael grabbed the atlas and left. Outside, his father Michael was waiting for him as well as his brother Gob."_

"Hey, dad." said George-Michael. "Uncle Gob's still not here?"

"No." said Michael. "If he entered the Cannonball without us, I'm reporting him to the Magician's Alliance."

_"It was around that time that Gob finally showed up. He was driving what used to be an equipment van for Bluth Construction and was now converted into a seventies-style custom van. Gob, of course, called it the Wizard."_

Gob parked the van and climbed out.

"You know, we were getting concerned you weren't going to show up." said Michael.

"Sorry, I had an errand to run." said Gob. "But enough talk, let's go."

Gob climbed back into the driver's seat, Michael took shotgun, and George-Michael climbed in back.

"Uncle Gob, is that a hot tub?" asked George-Michael.

"Yeah, they had to put in airbag suspension to support the weight, but it was worth it." said Gob.

A light moan was heard from the tub.

"What was that?" asked Michael.

"Yeah, there's something wrong with the pump." said Gob. "I'd suggest not using the tub until I can fix it."

_"And with that, the Bluth family went off to write themselves into Cannonball history, one way or another."_

---

**Whispering Hills Psychic Summer Camp**

Psi Cadet Razputen or Raz for short; walked next to famed Psi Ops member Nick Scryer. They both headed to their vehicle for the Cannonball Run.

"I'm glad my dad let me enter the Cannonball and represent the Psychonauts." Raz said.

"Yeah and remember. I'm the only driver of the Esper." Nick said. Once they saw the Esper, Raz let out a loud scream that the camp could hear.

"The car! Its blue and pink!" Raz exclaimed and sure enough a 1991 Chevy Cavalier Convertable was painted Tahitian blue with pink flower patterns. The tires were Fuzion ZRI with Giovanna G-Racing Kobe rims. The seats in the car were baby blue and pink and each seat had a DVD Player and monitor. A popcorn machine was on the center console with a ten disc CD changer. There was also a sun tan lotion dispenser on the dashboard and the car came outfitted with Audiovox amplifiers and woofers in a speaker box.

"You did say that the girls with Agent Milla painted the car. You should've expected this." Nick said scratching his head.

"I hope we have enough time to paint it before the race." Raz said.

---

**Somewhere in Hazzard County**

"Hurry up Bo!" Luke Duke shouted. "Sheriff Coltrane is right on our tail!"

Luke and Bo Duke were speeding through the fields of Hazzard County in their infamous orange '69 Dodge Charger with a confederate flag on the roof and a 01 on the side. Everyone in Hazzard County knows it by name and its named the General Lee.

"I'm going as fast as I can Luke!" Bo shouted back at his cousin.

Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane grinned as he was finally going to catch the Duke Boys. Unfortunately the General Lee made a turn, but the car Coltrane was driving didn't and he went right into a swamp. The Duke's were laughing at their success and Coltrane's misfortune.

**Later that day**

Boss Hogg knocked on the door to Uncle Jesse's farmhouse. Unlce Jessie answered and was a bit surprised by Hogg paying him a visit.

"Boss Hogg." Jessie said. "What do I owe this pleasure?"

"Where are those Duke boys?" Hogg said. Hogg was a rich man in this area and he held Hazzard County Sheriff's Department in his hands.

"Well I heat to tell you this but they left for Los Angeles." Jesse said. "Something about a race called the Cannonball Run. Its around the world and they said they wanted to represent Hazzard County in it."

"The Cannonball Run? I've heard of that race before. I've heard it was a illegal race that went from one part of the United States to the next. Do you mean to tell me they can go across the ocean now?"

"I guess. If you hurry, you might catch them."

"I'll do just that." Hogg smiled as Jesse closed the door. Hogg walked back to his white convertable grinning with his usual evil grin.

"I'll get Coltrane and a team of the best damn cops in the world to stop this Cannonball Run."

Jessie turned around and came face to face with Daisy Duke, who was pretty angry at Jessie for telling Hogg what the Duke Boys were doing.

"Could you tell me why you told Hogg what Bo and Luke were going to do?" she demanded.

"Simple Daisy. The President of the United States is going to sign off on a document that will pardon the Cannonballers for speeding throughout the world. So Bo and Luke are safe. No matter what Coltrane and Hogg do."

"Well I guess that will work. Only the document in question won't get signed until the start of the race. What if Coltrane and Hogg find enough cops and find the location of the pre race party?"

"I'm sure the race organizers have that covered." Jesse said. "You can out now boys! He's gone."

Bo came out of a fake refrigerator and Luke came out of a panel in the ceiling.

"Damnit Uncle Jessie!" Luke said. "You better not have screwed us and the other Cannonballers over!"

"I hope I didn't either. Now if you'd just shut up and finish packing. You can get going tomorrow morning."

Luke and Bo finished putting their packed bags into the trunk of the General Lee. Uncle Jessie came out with a five crates containing jars that were filled with a clear liquid and clothes sticking out of the lids.

"Aw we don't drink your moonshine Uncle Jesse." Bo said. "But thank you anyway. What's with the rags?"

"Its not for your to drink." Jessie said. "Its for you guys to use in the race in case you run into trouble. Now this race will take you all over the world and possibly the Middle East. If you should run into a bunch of Iraqi rebels that are slaughtering our troops over there. Use these and teach some Hazzard County payback for all of the men and women they killed."

"We will Uncle Jessie. We'll put these to good use." Luke said as he took the crates and put them into the trunk and back. The ones he put in the back seat were covered with a towel. "But would five crates be overkill? Shouldn't we be allowed to equip weapons onto our cars?"

"No and no." Jesse said. "Those crates should be just enough and there is a rule that only personal weapons and gadgets are allowed. Though the weapons should be non lethal. Hopefully they'll provide a few non lethal weapons in Los Angeles."

**The next morning**

The General Lee was already on the highways of Georgia and heading towards LA.

"This is going to be big Bo." Luke said with glee. "This is a race around the world."

"Bring on all racers. We're ready." Bo responded.

"Ready to win three hundred million dollars!" Luke said.

"YYEEEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!" The Duke Boys shouted.

---

**G4TV HQ**

Adam Sessler, host of G4's X Play, walked outside of the building. He noticed a 1984 Ford Ranger painted tangelo with tribal graphics, custom seats imprinted with flames, fold out couch, Gamecube with wireless controllers, 23 inch monitor, 3,000 watt system and a ping pong table in the truck bed that can be pulled out and set up anywhere. This Ford was called the Gamer and with good reason. Sitting in the driver's seat was a African American and Street Fury's host Big C. No one knows in G4TV knows his real name.

"Ah I see the Gamer is all ready." Adam said to himself. When he got near the Gamer, Big C moved it a few feet away from Adam.

"Oh very funny. Now come on. Lets go win this Cannonball Run." Adam once again went to get into the Gamer and Big C did it again. Fed up Adam ran up to the Gamer to get in, but Big C decided to drive out of the G4TV HQ parking lot. Adam screamed and chased after the Gamer.

---

Space Ghost sat at his desk in his talk show studio. He took a sip of his hot coffee (we'll have none of those Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Hot Coffee jokes now). Zorak a preying mantis like alien sat over at his keyboard. Moltar, the camera man and director of the show, stood in his little room looking through his monitor at Space Ghost.

"So you want to tell Zorak or should I?" Moltar said.

"Tell me what?" Zorak asked.

"I'll tell him." Moltar sighed. "Zorak, Space Ghost signed us up for the Cannonball Run."

"Let me show you our vehicle." Space Ghost said as he walked back stage and drove a 1981 Pontiac Trans Am out. The car was painted charcoal pearl, with a phoenix decal on the hood, twenty inch chrome wheels, a espresso machin inside, brown leather interior and a chandelier hangind from the dome light.

"He calls it the Dark Phoenix." Moltar said.

"That is a sweet ride." Zorak said as he rubbed his hands together. "How much is the prize money?"

"About three hundred million dollars." Space Ghost said.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Zorak exclaimed as he climbed into the Dark Phoenix. "Lets get going!"

---

"Captain?" Quinn, the only smart African-American on board Sealab, said as he looked around Captain Tornado Shanks's living quarters on Sealab. Obviously the captain isn't there. So Quinn left the room and headed to the control room where Sparks is posted, in high hopes that Sparks can locate the Shanks. Unfortunately, Sparks isn't at his post. In fact his chair is missing too. Of course Sparks doesn't go anywhere without his chair and his leg muscles are weak from sitting in the damn thing.

"ARGH! Where is everybody?" Quinn asked himself. "I know, I'll ask Marco and Stormy where they are. Last time I saw Marco and Stormy, they were in my personal garage, looking at my brand new car that I remodeled and named the Dolphin."

Quinn walked to his garage, which was a addition to his lab. There he let out a scream that can be heard throughout Sealab. Yes, Marco and Stormy had stolen the car. Leaving a VCR and TV where the Dolphin sat. Quinn turned on the TV and hit play. The face of former football coach and now captain of Sealab, Tornado Shanks, appeared on the screen. He is wearing all black like a burgler.

"Quinn, if you found this. Then you know that we stole the Dolphin." Shanks said. Just then Marco, Stormy and Sparks appeared on screen and started to cheer. Shanks told them to get the Dolphin onboard the special Deep Diver submarine. "I'm going to give you a minute to swear and scream at the top of your lungs Quinn."

Shanks waited a minute before he continued. "Quinn, don't call police and don't look for us. For we're entering the Dolphin to race in the Cannonball Run. It seems the idiot President is doing something right for a change. Not like keeping our troops in Iraq, so they can drop like flies. He's actually going to let this race take Cannonballers all over the world. Its going to be a blast Quinn. Too bad you ain't coming with us. Then again Quinn, you won't come with us. Racing is something you're not interested in. So we'll bring home the prize money and give it to you."

"WHAT?" Sparks came on screen again. "No way in Hell! Are we giving Quinn all of our prize money when we win!"

"Its going to Quinn whether you like it or not!" Shanks said. "He needs the money to continue his genetics research."

Just to prove Shanks's point. A half man, half dolphin creature came on screen.

"Dolphin Man loves you." the creature said.

"GET BACK INTO YOUR CAGE!" Shanks and Sparks said. The creature then walked off screen. Sparks and Shanks look back at the camera. "We will race and we will win."

Quinn turned the VCR and TV off. "They had better win. The Dolphin is the best vehicle ever made. Lets hope they don't trash the inside and lets hope they don't eat in it."

Cut to the Dolphin, a Honda Civic with leather massage seats, a Playstation 2, CD/DVD player, a sound system, sunroof and Lamborghini doors. Its also painted lavender with racing stripes down the center. Inside Sparks and Stormy are eating potato chips and other kinds of junk food. Obviously, they're making a mess.

"Guys! You're making a mess!" Shanks shouted from the co-pilots seat on the submarine they're taking up to the surface with the Dolphin.

"Ignore them captain." Marco said in a hispanic accent. Of course Marco is Hispanic, in case you didn't know that.

"I know, but Quinn would have a hissy fit if we trashed the inside of his car." Shanks said in a Southern United States accent.

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him Captain." Marco replied.

"Yeah you're right. So lets eat inside his car and clean it up when we cross the finish line."

---

Stan Smith, a proud conservative and employee at the Central Intelligence Agency, sat at the dinner table as his family ate. He barely touched his food and he couldn't tell his family what his boss told him he had to do.

"Stan, what's wrong? You are not eating your dinner and in fact your making a small version of the Devil's Tower out of your mashed potatoes." Francine Smith said. "Did you have a bad day at work today sweety?"

"No, my boss told me I had to enter in the first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. So my boss gave me a vehicle for the race already. The only people I can ask to be my team is you guys."

"Is Roger included or does he have to stay here?" Steve, Stan's son asked. Roger is a grey, big headed alien that Stan saved from Area 51.

"He can come. My boss said he had always known about Roger and we don't have to keep him here inside the house the whole time. Besides, we can disguise him. I'll show you the vehicle tomorrow."

The next day the Smith's had their bags packed and loaded into a Burple(a mix of purple and blue) 1985 Chevy Suburban with 37" tires and 22" Giovanna rims.

"I call this the Freedom. What do you think?" Stan asked.

"Well Dad." Hayley Smith looked inside. "Its nice and it has stuff for all of us. I don't know..."

"Hayley, its summer and we can complete the race in a few months. Since we're breaking the speed limit anyway." Stan interrupted.

"Stanly!" Francine was not happy about the speeding comment. "Do you mean to tell us we're breaking the law?"

"Well the President of the United States will pardon the racers for all of their crimes during the race."

"Well can we get going?" Roger said as he wore a navy blue CIA hoody a fishing hat and baggy jeans. "Or are we going to look at it all day?

---

"Birdman!" came his boss's voice over the intercom. "Please meet me in the parking deck with Avenger and Peanut in ten minutes."

"I wonder why Phil wants me to meet him in the parking deck?" Birdman said to himself.

Ten minutes later Phil looked at his watch and waited for Birdman to arrive. Birdman finally showed up with Peanut and his purple bird Avenger in a cage.

"Well its about time you got here." Phil said. "Now you may not know this but I'm going to be entering the Cannonball Run. So naturally I need a team. So I picked you."

"I'm honored." Birdman said.

"Where's the vehicle we'll be using in the Cannonball?" Peanut asked.

"Oh yes that." Phil walked over to a white tarp covering a large object. Phil removes the tarp to reveal a black Daihatsu Hi-Jet van.

"Nice." Birdman commented.

"Of course it is. I call it the Lawsuit. It has a mini fridge, two MP3 players, and a six DVD changer. Now we're going to win this Cannonball, so I can cash the prize money into dollar bills and swim in a pool filled with the money naked. Ha ha dangley parts."

---

Kazuma walked out of his in the Lost Grounds island in Japan. The native alter was once again going to do a job with his friend Kimishima. What Kazuma doesn't know is that Kimishima is taking him to the United States so they can race in the Cannonball Run.

"Hey Kazuma, are you ready?" Kimishima asked.

Kazuma looked up at a 1967 Ford Mustang painted turquoise.

"What the hell is going on Kimishima?" Kazuma asked.

"Its simple Kazuma. I've entered us into the Cannonball Run. Thats our next job Kazuma and this here is our vehicle for the race. I call her the Native Alter. By the way..."

Kimishima got out of the Native Alter and ran inside to tape a note to the refridgerator. It was saying that he and Kazuma had gone to the United States to enter the Cannonball Run. Then he went back to the car. "So are you ready to go or do you need a little more time?"

Kazuma groans.

---

A 1987 Chevy Blazer painted porsche yellow with flame graphics and has 20" giovanna rims with pirelli pzero tires, pulled into the drive way of a apartment complex. Ethan, a gamer that works in a video game store, gets out and walks to his apartment.

"Okay guys!" he announced. "Time for the Cannonball Run!"

"What are you talking about?" his roommate Lucas wondered. Lucas works at a customer support in a computer store.

"I signed us up for a race in Los Angeles. Called the Cannonball Run. Three hundred million dollars for the winner."

"Did you say three hundred million dollars?" Lucas's pupils looked like dollar signs.

"Whats this about the Cannonball Run?" the third roommate Scott walked out with his pet penquin Ted.

"Ethan signed us up for a race with three hundred million dollars on the line." Lucas said.

"What about Ted and your girlfriend Ethan?"

"I already told her about the race Scott and you can bring Ted along too. We're going to go through Antarctica during the race."

Thirty minutes later and after Scott, Ethan and Lucas packed their bags and put them into the trunk. They said goodbye to Lillah and told her to watch the apartment. Then they left.

"Pretty nice." Lucas said as he admired the interior of the vehicle. "Do we have a name?"

"Yeah its called the Hacker." Ethan said.

---

"Get those bikes onto the trailer so we can get out of here to Los Angeles!" Paul Teutal Sr. ordered his two sons. Mike Teutal drove their famous police bike onto the trailer. While Paul Jr. drove his bike for the Cannonball Run, a custom made bike named the Freeway.

"Okay we're loading them right now." Mikey said.

"Good, we've got to represent Orange County Choppers in the Cannonball Run."

"Yes pops" Paul Jr. said.

---

Amuro Ray waited outside the house of Kamille Bidan. Amuro was getting impatient. The car he was waiting in was a 1996 Chevy Caprice Cop Car painted lime gold and black with Lexani enfinity rims. Kamille finally came out and climbed in. The car then backed up and drove down the street.

"So what are we going to call this vehicle that we're going to race in the Cannonball Run?" Kamille asked.

"I'm naming it after the RX-78-2 Gundam. So its name is the RX-78." Amuro said.

"Good name."

---

Triple H and his lackey "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair stood backstage in the parking lot at the arena RAW was being taped.

"Well it seems that Triple H and Ric Flair are waiting for someone." said the voice of commentator Jim Ross.

"He's obiviously waiting for Batista to show his face." came the voice of third commentator Johnathon Coachman said.

Just then a 1958 Volkswagen Bus pulled up to the two wrestlers. The top half is painted white and the bottom half is painted lime green with chrome trim. A school bus sign on the side that said 'CANNONBALL' popped out.

"Who the hell is that?" JR wondered.

The door opened and there sat in the driver's seat, Smackdown's own John Bradshaw Layfield. Inside his office, Eric Bischoff spat out his whiskey in a fine mist. He quickly called Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long.

"Long its me Eric." Eric said. "Can you tell me why JBL is picking up Triple H and Ric Flair? I see..."

Eric hung up the phone and cursed JBL for taking his two highest drawing superstars into the Cannonball Run. The bus had already left the arena by now and JBL was driving it.

"We need a name for this fine vehicle." JBL said.

"I'm thinking the Game." Triple H said. "Because its that damn good!"

"Yeah!" Ric added in. "WHOO!"

---

"You call this a Cannonball Run vehicle?" Jeff Foxworthy said.

Him, Larry the Cable Guy and Bill Engvall stood in front of a 1968 Chevy Chevelle painted black with racing stripes and candy green finish.

"Yeah and we need a name." Bill said.

"Well how about we call it the Red Neck." Jeff said as he thought about it for a minute.

"This will surely help us win the Cannonball Run." Larry said. "Now as I always say..."

"We know!" Bill and Jeff interrupted. "Let's get ir done!"

"Yeah lets get ir done!" Larry replied.

**Author's Comments: Yes this is a remake of the original Cannonball Run Carmageddon. I had to remake it because a lot of stuff is out of date. So I've took out some teams. Replaced some teams and made the limit of teams to thirty. Enjoy and review this when you read it. I'll have the rest of the teams for you later. Oh and the unedited version, which is the version containing the full song lyrics is on nFiction's website. I'll post the link in my profile when I get the chapter up on nFiction.**


	2. The Rest of the Cannonballers

I don't own anything in this fic. Nothing at all. Unless there is some of my original characters.

**Author's Note: A link to the Unedited Version of CRC is posted on my bio. Just click on it if you want to read the lyrics with the fic. Plus I've posted how the winner will be decided sown below.**

**Chapter 2: The rest of the Cannonballers**

A 1972 Toyota Land Cruiser with yellow paint, zen symbol on hood and 35 inch tires with 18 inch chrome rims drove down the highway. Inside were three people. One wore a samurai gi and a pair of glasses, one wore a red shirt and blue shorts with sandels and the third was a teenage girl in a purple kimono. The girl sat in the back while the guy with glasses drove. Th third person sat in the passenger seat. Their names are Jin, Mugen and Fuu.

"So what is this called again?" Mugen asked as he moved the seat back to lay down.

"I call it the Shogun." Jin said.

"Shogun meet the Cannonball Run. Cannonball Run meet the Shogun."

---

Dim pulled the tarp off of the object it was covering. He gasped when he saw a 1987 Honda CRX with front and rear bumpers, side skirts, wing on back and painted cinnamon pearl. He checked inside and found that it has a internal computer.

"Wow Dan. This is great for the Cannonball Run." Dim said. "Let me guess...e-Bay?"

Dan wore his corporate suckup clothing. As he had on all e-Bay number one clothes, including a foam finger and a balloon. "Yeah."

"I think I like this internal computer is going to work out great." JT said as he sat in the back playing around with the internal computer.

"JT, don't mess with it." Dim warned. "We still have to..."

JT accidently set off the car alarm. Causing all three to plug their ears with their fingers. In the end, JT turned the alarm off and accidently launched a flare from the front of the car. It shot out and bounced all over the garage before going out the open window.

"OHMYGODI'MONFIRE!" cried Tom as he was set a blaze by the flare.

"Sorry Tom!" JT said. "My fault!"

"Well we better call a ambulance and the fire department before we leave then." Dan said.

They didn't know they were being watched, but they were and from a crystal ball no less. The owners of the top three gaming companies in the world. These men are the Head of Square Enix, Head of Capcom and Head of Konami. You can tell who is the owner of Konami as he's wearing a Solid Snaka bandana around his head.

"Did I just hear correctly?" Square Enix said. "Are they entering the Cannonball Run?"

"I think so." Capcom said. "Shall we enter it?"

"Nah. Even if our racing skills are good or we've practiced on various racing games. Our skills won't be enough to win." Square Enix said.

"Why don't we steal the money?" Konami said. Square Enix and Capcom looked up at him.

"Thats exactly what we'll do." Square Enix said. "Then when we have the money. We can create a Cannonball Run game with us as the winners and main characters."

Then he started to laugh maniacally and thunder was heard outside. "Okay who plugged back in the Dolby Surround Sound 4.0: Evil Edition?"

"No one." Capcom said. "It said on the news that we're supposed to get a thunder storm."

"Lets hope that the..." Just as Square Enix was about to finish his sentence, the power went out. "Great!"

---

Seventeen year old indy wrestler Kayla Sparks and her friend, Miss Deville, stood in front of a 1978 Cadillac Sedan DeVille woth Rolls Royce grill and 22 inch Asanti rims. The car was painted metallic gold and is called the Goddess.

"So this is the Goddess huh?" Kayla asked her friend and tag team partner.

"Yep, took a lot to get her fixed up, but she's ready for the Cannonball Run." Deville said. "All we have to do is wait for our teammates."

"We're here!" came the voice of a Caucasion woman. Standing next to her was a tanned skin woman. They're "Cheerleader" Melissa Anderson and Ariel. Both have been to Japan and are famous.

"About time Melissa." Deville said. "Lets get going girls. The Goddess has a race to win."

They climbed into the car and Deville started the engine. It roared to life before the battery went dead and the engine died.

"Would it be better if I got out and pushed?" Ariel asked.

---

Former Umbrella employee Nicolai Givoneaf looked at his invitation. The he checked his watch. His teammate was late.

"Where are you." Nicholai then saw a 2005 Toyota 4Runner in the distance. The 4Runner was silver on the bottom with factory black on top and green flames. The wheels had 22 inch chrome rims. The 4Runner finally pulled up next to the Russian mercenary and the driver rolled down the window. The person driving suprised him.

"Albert Wesker? What is a snake like you inviting me to compete in a race!" Nicholai asked.

"Nicholai. Have you forgotten that you owe me a favor and if I remember correctly, you're a traitor to your former UBCS squad." Wesker said adjusting his sunglasses.

"You got a point there Wesker." Nicholai said. "What is the name of this vehicle?"

"I call it the Tyrant of course. Now come on. We're going to be late. We have to go to Los Angeles Convention Center."

Nicholai got in. "Isn't there a convention going on there?"

"There is and its called the Electronic Entertainment Expo or E3 for short." Wesker started the engine and sped off.

---

At the demon hunting business known as Devil Never Cry. Dante, son of the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda, sat in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. He was confortable until his phone rang. He answered it.

"Devil Never Cry..." Dante said as he listened to the person on the other end. "About time you called Kratos. Where are you? I'm waiting for you and X to get here so we can go to the Cannonball Run starting line."

Just then there is a honk outside. So Dante hung up and looked out the window. Sure enough there was a 1969 Volkswagon Baja Bug painted lime green with purple graphics, 18 inch chrome rims and suicide doors. Kratos, the Spartan that defeated the God of War waved to Dante. Dante turned off the power, walked out the door and locked up. Then he got into the Baja Bug. Megan Man X was in the passenger's seat. "What do you call this car?"

Kratos looked back at Dante. "I call it the Car of War."

"Nice name." Dante said.

---

At a soccer field at a elementary school; Coach McQuirk was telling his three players about the car for the Cannonball Run. Which is a black and white soccer ball painted Mitsubishi Mirage, with 18 inch rims and limo tinted windows.

"Okay, its called the Beckham." McQuirk said to wannbe movie director Brendon Small and his two friends Jason and Melissa. "I called it that after David Beckham."

"Um Coach. I think we figured that out as soon as you mentioned it." Brendon said.

"Yeah, you shouldn't tell us why you called it the Beckham." Melissa said.

"Well okay sorry. Now do you three have your permission slips?"

"Ah Coach, its summer. Why do we even need permission slips anyway?" Jason asked.

"Well Jason, its because I'm taking you around the world for the Cannonball Run. I need these permission slips in case something happens to you. But I won't let anything happen to you. Now get in the damn car so we can stop and get something to eat; before we head to Los Angeles."

---

Carl Johnson and his brother, Sean "Sweet" Johnson looked at a 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, with lime green paint and18-inch chrome rims. This vehicle is called the Gangster.

"I think the Gangster is ready for action CJ." Sweet said. "Now we got to wait for that brother-in-law of ours."

Cesar Vialpando leaves Ryder's house, I mean his house. Since Cesar and Kendell moved in sometime after CJ went on a one man war against the drug dealers, corrupt cops and crime syndicates that were responsible for his mother's death.

"Hey homes, I'm ready to go!" Cesar said.

"Well we're ready on this front." Sweet said. "So lets go."

---

Colonel Roy Mustang drove the 1988 Acura Legend, named the Philospher's Car, along the highways towards Los Angeles. Beside is his partner in crime, Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and in the back is the Strong Arm Alchemist, Major Alex Louis Armstrong.

The Philospher's Car is painted oriental blue with metallic flakes and has 18 inch chrome rims.

"This will sure be relaxing." Maes said looking out the window and watching the trees pass by.

"Yep, it will be great to be finally away from a certain blonde haired midget and his suit of armor brother."

"WHO IS HE CALLING A BLONDE HAIRED MIDGET?" came the muffled voice in the back. Roy pulled the Philospher's Car to a complete stop by the side of the road and grinned.

"Why are you smiling Roy?" Maes asked. "Don't tell me you were planning on the Elric brothers on being in the back?"

"I knew they were going to sneak in there Hughes, so I decided to play along for a while." Roy said. "I'll be right back."

Roy got out and opened the trunk. In a couple of minutes, Alphonse Elric was put back together and sat in the back, then Ed got into the back. The Philospher's Car drove off again a few seconds later.

---

A 1974 Chevy Truck sits in the forest of California. It's painted blue pearl with flames on the hood and the truck bed has been converted into a camper. Gathered around a fire is Monkey D. Luffy AKA the Rubber Boy, swordsman Zolo, navigator Nami, sharpshooter with a sling shot Usopp and finally the Strawhat pirates crew Sanji. Sanji just so happens to make stir fry from a wok on the fire.

"Beef Stir Fry will be done in a minute." Sanji said.

"Great because I'm hungry." Luffy cried.

"Luffy of out of all the names you could name our vehicle." Zolo said. "You just had to name it after our ship, the Merry Go."

"I couldn't think of any good names BESIDES Merry Go." Luffy retorted.

"Stop fighting you guys." Nami said.

"Nami's right." Usopp entered into the fray. "We should be thankful we have a vehicle to enter the Cannonball Run."

Just then a spaceship flew overhead and landed in a open field nearby.

"What the hell was that?" Zolo asked. Usopp, Luffy and Zolo went to go check it out. They saw three human figures walk off the ship. One male with blue hair, a female with blue hair and a man with gauntlets on his arms and blonde hair. The blond haired man pulled out a futuristic communicator.

"Okay Mirage. Bring it out." the blonde haired man said.

"Roger Cliff." Mirage replied. A 1984 Nissan Maxima Station Wagon, painted yellow with shredder graphics and chrome rims, drives out of the ship and out of that comes a blonde haired woman. Luffy turns to his fellow pirates.

"They're aliens!" Luffy shouted.

"We're actually from the far future." Cliff said from behind the three. All three turned around and screamed bloody murder.

"Who're you guys!" Zolo shouted.

"My name is Cliff Fittir." The blonde haired man said. "This here is Fayt Leingod, Maria Traydor and Mirage Koas."

Then he points to their vehicle.

"That right there is our entry for the Cannonball Run. We call it the Thunder Arrow."

"Hey you guys! Stir fry is ready!" Sanji yelled from the campfire.

"We have plenty of food if you care to join us." Luffy said.

"Sure, sounds good." Cliff said as he followed the three pirates.

---

Fighter drove a 2004 Scion XB with flame graphics and GFG chrome rims, called the Vehicle of Light. In th car with him are the other three warriors of light, Black Mage, Red Mage and Thief. They're driving down the highway until a 1991 Ford Escort painted Euro red with chrome rims passed them. Inside the Escort, called the Ninja Car, is Christian, Marcus and Mr. Madsen.

"We seriously owned them!" Mr. Madsen said.

Just then the Vehicle of Light was catching up to them. Inside the Vehicle of Light...

"I like swords, but I hate those who cut me off!" Fighter slammed down on the gas and chased after the Ninja Car.

"Now he drives faster." Black Mage said.

They pass a 1989 Ford Mustang convertable painted raspberry pearl with gold shimmer lace designs and gold rims. This car is called the Awesome and its being driven by Waterman. A loser and his loser friends, Ice Cream Girl, Pal, Roy Bot and Mr. Dillo. Mr. Dillo is in a car seat because he's a Armadillo and is required by law to be in a car seat, because of his weight and height.

"Those guys are so not awesome to the max!" Waterman said. "They cut us off!"

"What are you going to do?" Roy Bot asked.

"I'm going to chase after them." With that said, the Awesome sped after them.

---

The El Blanco, a 1955 Chevy Bel Air painted white and pink with old school pin stripes and twenty inch symbolic rims and bfg tires, drove down the road away from the small town of Perfection, Neveda. Driving is survivalist and gun lover Burt Gummer. Navigating to Los Angeles is tour guide Tyler Reed.

"It could be a lot worse Burt." Tyler said. "It could've painted completely pink."

Burt was not happy that his entry for the first ever worldwide Cannonball Run had pink on it. He should've let Nancy and Mindy paint the El Blanco.

"When we get to L.A. We find a paint shop and paint it white." Burt said. "It's called the El Blanco, not the El Pinko."

Tyler couldn't help but laugh.

---

Lupin the 3rd and his two cronies Jigen and Goemon sat on the beach sipping drinks in Los Angeles. Next to them in a parking spot was a 1998 Mitsubishi Eclipse. One side tangerine candy and the other side candy blue with graphics across the car. There are also 18" Volk rims and Goodyear run flat tires on the car too. The car is called the Bandit.

"Lupin old buddy." Jigen said. "Shouldn't we get to the Los Angeles Convention Center?"

Lupin checked his watch. "Yeah we better get there Jigen. The other racers should be arriving any minute now. Goemon could you go pay for our drinks?"

Lupin handed Goemon the money for their drinks and once the bill was paid. The three thieves were on their way to the convention center in the Bandit. They arrived at the Bandit, only to find that there was another event there or at least it was pretty much over.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jigen said. "Lupin, are you sure the Cannonball was supposed to be this week?"

"Yeah, there was a convention here over the weekend and ended today. So they're going to pack everything up from this convention, when we leave the starting line."

"Perfect timing for this kind of convention to end. Now most people won't be bored talking to the other racers."

**Author's Comment: Well here is the long awaited second chapter. What convention would they be referring too? You'll find out in chapter three. You can take a stab at it, but please don't post it in your review. If you're correct, then we don't want you to spoil the surprise. Now coming chapter four, I'll give you all specific instructions to vote for the winning vehicle for the Cannonball Run. The only thing I can tell you is that you're NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE REVIEW SYSTEM TO CAST YOUR VOTE! One reason is that has banned the use of the review system as a message board. Actually you know what. I'll tell you right now. Voting WILL BE DONE THROUGH E-MAIL! Here is what I ask of you when you send me you're e-mail:**

**E-mail Address: My e-mail address is on my bio. If you're not registered, then please do so. Because I'm not posting my e-mail address on here for everyone to see.**

**Subject: Cannonball Run Carmageddon**

**Body of E-mail: Give me your vote from chapter 4 to the chapter before the post race party. For chapters 2 and 3, just give me a guess on who you think will place in the top three.**

**It's that simple. I just want to make sure this fic stays up and follows guidelines and rules. Just follow the example above and everything will be fine. This voting system will be the same for Cannonball Run 6: Full Throttle. I won't write the post race chapter for CR6 until I have all of the chapters for CR6 up. So you've got a good deal of waiting for CR6. It won't be out for a while.**


	3. Pre Race Party

I don't own anything in this fic. Nothing at all. Unless there is some of my original characters.

**Pre Race Party: It's our party and we'll play games if we want too.**

Hellboy, a being that looks like the devil but his horns have been cut off, opens the warehouse door for the Cannonball Run Security Team. Inside were various police cars from all over the world. One car was a NYPD Crown Victoria, next to it was a LAPD Crown Victoria, a London PD Vauxhall Vectra, a London PD Land Rover Defender, a police Chevy Tohoe, a Paris Citroen Xsara and a Tokyo Nissan 300ZX. Each named after they respective city police department.

"Okay guys." Hellboy said. "I'll assign vehicles to you all soon. Remember it's first come first serve. So here are the vehicles. They are London Cop Car 1, London Cop Car 2, New York Cop Car, LA Cop Car, Police SUV, Paris Cop Car and Tokyo Cop Car. Now we have to repaint these before all of the Cannonballers arrive. Let's get started because they'll be here soon."

---

Square Enix as he'll be called for now on, watches the crowd the worst of the worst gather in the courtyard of the Triad. The Triad is the three towers that combine into one building at the top. This is the place for Capcom, Square Enix and Konami to make their games and for the three Heads of each company to plot evil schemes against Team Decline. Especially now, only they're going after all of the Cannonballers and not one team.

"Okay everyone. May I have your attention or else you're getting a Flare spell where teh sun don't shine!" Square Enix said. This made every shut up. "Now all of us are here for one thing and one thing only. The prize money for the first ever Cannonball Run World Tour."

"You ain't just whistling dixie!" Satan yelled out as he stood next to Osama Bin Laden and Suddam Hussein, who're both his lackeys.

"Now You'll each get to pick out a vehicle. Then you'll have four others for you to choose, in case your first vehicle gets wrecked. Sauron did tell his Orcs to guard these three towers that are combined at the top. This building we call the Triad. Oh and Sauron also assigned himself and his assistant Wayne the Goblin to monitor our efforts in order to slow down the racers and try to steal the money."

"YOU WHAT?" Wayne shouted to his boss.

"Cheer up Wayne. We get to monitor us and plan to steal three hundred million dollars...TO RULE THEM ALL!" Sauron said as the camera did a close up on him.

"Well I'd like to keep you here but we have to get over to Los Angeles and begin our plans to steal the money."

---

The Hacker, Ninja Car and the Reviewer drove towards the Los Angeles Convention Center. When they got there, they saw a sign they never expected to see.

"Unbelievable." Ethan said.

"You've got be kidding me!" Christian said.

"Wasn't that convention supposed to end yesterday?" Marcus asked.

"We're back." Dim said.

The convention mentioned in the last chapter is none other than the Electronic Entertainment Expo, also known as E3. Most of the Cannonballer teams will have a big problem with it.

---

Haru Glory, the famous Rave Master, finished setting up the betting booth. Conan Edagawa, one of Haru's assistants, sat drinking a juice box. Haru's second assistant, Coop, is pigging out on cheese steak sandwiches.

"Well Conan, we're ready to start handing out the Cannonballers odds and taking bets." the Rave Master said.

---

Brock, J.J and Victor stood outside the front door as the Cannonballer vehicles came to a complete stop and the Cannonballers got out of their vehicles.

"I welcome you Cannonballers." Brock said. "Please park your cars over there in the assigned parking spots. When you sign in, you'll each receive a special license plate that will tell you apart from the rest. Just follow J.J and Victor here when you've parked your cars."

---

The party was in full swing. Cannonballers either walked around the convention center to watch trailers or play demos to all of the upcoming games and systems. Others either sat at the bar in the Cannonball are of the building drinking, chatting it up or outside working on their cars. South Park animator Trey Parker stood backstage with Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld.

"Okay guys, we're first to play. Just like we practiced." Trey said. "Let's go."

They took the stage and Trey grabbed a mic. "Welcome Cannonballers to the first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. We're going to play this song for you. Since everyone of you will be going the distance."

They began playing as most of the Cannonballers and fans outside watched.

**Song: "The Distance" by Cake**

Melissa and Ariel are sitting at a table with Team Evolution. Talking about the crappy women's wrestling feds. Particulary Women's Extreme Wrestling.

"Did I ever tell you that they hold matches for the stupidest storylines?" Melissa said as she took a drink of her margarita.

"No, but with a fed, whose comissioner that parodies The Rock." Triple H said. "It has to be one of the worst feds in the U.S."

"Well it was between Christie Ricci and a woman who calls herself the Diva. I don't remember her name though. Anyway, the match was over a hotel phone bill that was forty dollars."

"Forty dollars?" JBL was about ready to break down laughing at that comment. "They have a match between each other over a stupid phone bill?"

"Well the Diva didn't want to pay it so she used brass knuckles to knock Christie out and pin her for the three count leaving Christie to pay the phone bill."

"How did you know ahout the match?" Ric asked.

"They put it online. With like a bunch of ads that play when the match was getting good." Ariel said.

"I've heard about this fed before." Triple H said. "They don't have any good wrestlers, but they have former strippers."

"No wonder why it's not getting a TV deal." JBL was practically laughing so hard he was in tears.

Team Samurai and Team Birdman were having a Sake drinking contest. Well Phil of Team Birdman was making bets for his team.

"Come on Birdman! Drink that rice wine!" Phil shouted. "I want to be swimming naked in a pile of money!"

Everybody within a few inches of Phil edged slowly away. Fuu was cheering her team on and unfortunately; Mugen passed out from drinking too much. Much to Fuu's dismay.

Space Ghost was interviewing Kazuma on being a Alter and entering the Cannonball Run. Kazuma is drunker than a alcoholic.

"If you don't shut the hell up..." A druken Kazuma said. "I'm going to kick your ass right here, right now."

"Well you're the one...!" Space Ghost was interrupted by Kazuma hoping over the table and decking him in the face. Moltar and Zorak burst into laughter and spit out their beers in a fine mist.

Everyone watching the performance cheering as the band takes a bow and leaves. "Thank you Cannonballers and fans. We'll be here for the duration of the Cannonball."

Team G4, Dominic, Brian, CJ, Ed, Waterman, Alphonse and Mikey are playing a round or two of multiplayer Halo 2; over by the Xbox displays. The Xbox displays also show footage of various Xbox 360 games. Including a trailer of Rumble Roses XX, to which Ariel and Melissa are watching.

"No wonder why the first Rumble Roses did so well." Ariel said.

Back with the guys playing Halo. It seems Adam is on another one of his shouting the word kill as loud as he can modes. Big C edges away from teh X Play host. So that he wouldn't be associated with him at this time. Coach McGuirk had joined Brendon in helping him on Halo 2. Sadly to say, Coach McGuirk has never played a first person shooter game in his entire life and is getting killed every ten seconds after his Elite is killed.

Tornado Shanks was getting yelled at by Quinn. Actually Quinn is mumbling a bunch of swear words he wanted to get off his chest. Soon Quinn had clamed down and started to talk to his captain about the race.

"Are you sure you won't get a scratch on it?" Quinn said.

"Trust me Quinn." Shanks said. "Not a scratch."

Quinn hung up after saying his goodbyes and well wishes to the Sealab team. His girlfriend, Debbie, walks up and hugs him.

"What's wrong Quinn?" she asked.

"It's like I'm not going to see the Dolphin again." he replied.

"I know what will make you all better." then she whispered in his ear and he smiled.

"Oh Hell yeah!"

Back at the Convention Center. Country comedian singer Cletus T. Judd and comedian singer Weird Al Yankovic took the stage.

"Okay folks." Weird Al said. "Since Toby Keith wasn't on call for tonight. I decided to sing this song with Cletus here."

"This song may not be about the Cannonball, but it's about racing." Cletus said. "So here now is 'I Love NASCAR'!"

The two began to play as the crowd erupted into cheers.

**Song: "I love NASCAR" by Cletus T. Judd and Toby Keith**

Grove Street Families was sitting with the grown up members of Team Alchemy.

"Did you know my assistant is a marksman?" Roy said to CJ.

"Go on." CJ said interested.

Dominic and Brian had won their second game of Halo 2. Brian and Dominic high fived each other and continued to play.

Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. watched Mikey play. Then they walked around and caught sight of the World of Warcraft area.

"Can you believe there are people who are wasting their lives by playing this game, Pops?" Paul Jr. said.

"I know." Paul Sr. said. "Video games are going to be the downfall of western society someday. Just you watch."

Paul Sr. walks away.

"I thought that MTV is the downfall of western society!" Paul Jr. shouted and eventually followed his dad.

Just as the two comedians left the stage. Stage hands brought out a podium and several American flags. Brock Yates walked on stage and stood behind the podium.

"Welcome once again Cannonballers and racing fans from all over the world. Later tonight thirty teams are going to compete in something has never been done before. The first ever Cannonball Run World Tour."

There were applause and cheers as the Cannonballers that were playing the video games watched the speech on TV monitors. The video games were turned off and the speech was shown.

"Tonight we'll start the race at midnight on the dot. You can leave within the hour of midnight. But before we draw to see what order every one is leaving. And before we hand out the license plates so we can identify your car as a Cannonball vehicle. We have a certain bill to be signed. In fact there is only one man that can pass this bill and he's backstage waiting to come up here. Ladies and Gentlemen. Please put your hands together for the President of the United States George W. Bush."

Trey, Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld began to play "Hail to the Chief" as George walks on stage and shakes hands with Brock.

"Laides and Gentlemen..." Bush began. "Right here in front of me is the bill that will let you run wild around the world. Now remember there is no country in the world, that gives the death penalty for speeding. I don't know about Iraq though, because those insurgents may not like people speeding on 'their' highways. But you can be rest assured that the U.S. military and Iraqi military will just give you a slap on the wrist and be on your way."

Everyone cheers at that comment and then Bush calls Brock over to add his name to the bill. Once Brock signed it, Bush took the pen. "By order of the President of the United States, let the first ever Cannonball Run World Tour BEGIN!"

Then Bush signed it and it's now official. The Cannonball has begun and the Cannonballers cheered and went outside to work on their cars.

---

That night the Cannonballers were making last minute adjustments to their vehicles. Brian and Dominic were by the Furious. Brian finished installing the nitrous oxide booster.

"Okay, the nitrous is hooked up." Brian said. "I think the Furious is ready for action."

"Let's see here..." Dominic was looking over the list of things they did to the Furious. "Nitrous, check. Weight distribution, double check. Cannonball Run license plate, check. Soda dispenser and snack container?"

Brian opened the Furious and there was a soda dispenser that gave him a can of Root Beer. Then he pulls a bag of Cheetos from a container in between the driver and passenger seat. "Check."

"Looks like we're good to go. Come on, let's got get one last beer for the road."

"Dominic, we can't be drinking to much. Especially you. You're driving first." Brian said.

"I know, but I just one last beer before we go speeding through the United States" Dominic said.

GOB walked back over to the Wizard and the rest of Team Bluth. Micheal looked up from under the hood.

"Well, what is the other competition like?" he asked.

"We won't have much trouble winning. It seems other teams are scared of the Wizard." GOB said. Michael looks at him suspiciously.

_GOB lied to them and didn't do a very good job of it. Let's see what he has been telling the other teams in a flashback, shall we?_

**Flashback**

GOB is standing near the Freedom. Roger is asking him what horseower the Wizard has.

"It has 400 horespower."

Then we see him over by Team Heros. Black Mage is asking about the horsepower.

"It has 500 horsepower." GOB said.

"You're full of bulls---!" Black Mage said.

Then he told Team Diva Killaz the horse power.

"It's 600 horsepower!" GOB said to a umimpressed Kayla and Deville.

"He's f---ing with our minds." Kayla said.

Finally he visisted two more teams. Team Graboid and Team Psi Ops. With Team Psi Ops...

"Our van has... did anybody tell you have pink flowers all over your car?" GOB said.

Nick and Raz were in the middle of repainting the Esper with royal tahitian blue. To cover all of the pink flower patterns.

"We know." they said in unison.

With Team Graboid, it was a whole different story all together. Basically GOB had to avoid getting his face blown off by Burt's .50 Caliber rifle. Which Tyler was trying to wrestle out of his hands without a shot going off. They were in the middle of repainting their car too.

**End Flashback**

"Yeah they're pretty scared of our van." GOB said. "I'll fix the hot tub later."

Bo and Luke finished putting cans of soda into a cooler.

"A man can't live on bread alone." Bo said.

"Do we have enough ice for all of this soda?" Luke asked.

"Plenty."

"Got the snacks?" Luke should've known better because Bo held up a big bag of chips. "Just finish putting this soda into the cooler and I'll get some more snacks."

Team Waterman were having trouble with the Awesome. Preferbly because they have never worked on a car in their entire lives.

"Does anybody know how to work on a car?" Waterman asked as his team stared at the Awesome with clueless stares.

Next to them was the Red Neck. Jeff looked over at them.

"Well you might be a loser if you've never worked on a car before." he said.

Waterman and his group laughed until they realized the joke was aimed at them. "Hey."

Jeff turned around to continue checking under the hood of the Red Neck. When Larry decided it might be funny if he honked the horn. He did and it let out a musical sound. This scared Jeff that he jumped, hit his head on the hood and fell unconsicous. Larry realized what he did and went to check on him.

"Jeff?" Larry took a stick from the Red Neck and poked him with it. "I think I killed him."

"No you didn't kill him." Bill said. "You just knocked him out cold."

---

It was time to start the race and first off was Team Strawhat. Luffy punched his time card and got back into the Merry Go. Then the Merry Go drove off into the night. The Cannonball Run has officially begun.

**Song: "Hey Ho, Let's Go!" The Ramones**

The Car of War was next to leave the starting line. X got out and punched the time card and climbed back in.

"Okay we're clocked in. GO! GO!" X shouted.

"Buckle your seat belts." Kratos said. "Because we're off."

"Okay guys." Cliff said from the driver's seat of the futuristic looking inside of the Thunder Arrow.Cliff was driving first. "Fayt clocked us in and we're off."

The Bandit was up. Goemon clocked in and the Bandit took off.

The RX-78 was next. Kamille clocked in from the passneger's seat and then Amuro slammed his foot down on the gas.

The Tyrant was last to go. Nicolai clocked in and turned to Wesker as the Tyrant pulled out into the night.

"How the hell did you get us to leave the starting line last?" he asked.

"Would you believe that I was out taking a whiz when they were drawing?" Wesker asked.

"No."

"Then shut up because we're going to catch to them."

Sauron and Wayne stood by a van that news stations use. It's called the Newsvan and it's being used to monitor the Cannonballers. So the bad guys can slow them down.

"Are you sure you can hack into their satellite that monitor's the Cannonballers' progress?" Sauron asked.

"Yes master. The Orcs are watching them now." Wayne said. Sauron looked through binoculars as the Cannonball Run Security Team sped off with their sirens wailing and the lights on.

---

In the New York Cop Car, Hellboy got on his CB radio. "All cars report in."

"This is Zero in the LA Cop Car. We read you Hellboy."

"This is Dash in the Police SUV reporting in."

"This is Violet in the London Car 1 reporting in."

"This Jak in the London Car 2 reporting in."

"This is Nicol in the Paris Cop Car waiting to protect the Cannonballers."

"This is Kira in the Tokyo Cop Car. We're ready for your next order."

"Good, everybody scatter and watch the Cannonballers. You all have your monitors showing you where the Cannonballers are at. So pick a team or two and protect them."

"Yes sir!" they all shouted.

---

Coltrane and Hogg saw all of those willing to arrest the Cannonballers and they were impressed.

"Looks like we got a good crowd." Hogg said.

"Looks like that way." Coltrane said. "Say I want you to meet someone. Come on over here."

A female wearing a olive green t-shirt, green camouflage pants and black combat boots walked up. "Hello I'm Sergeant Janice Foyt of the United States Army."

"Nice to meet you." Hogg shook her hand. "I see you're willing to make sure the Cannonballers are in jail. It'll be great working with someone from the Army."

"It will be indeed sir."

"Let's not call me sir. Just call me Boss. Since my name is Boss Hogg." Hogg said.

"Yes Boss."

"Is this all we're going to get?" Hogg asked Coltrane.

"Yes Boss. We've got a bounty hunter team that is here because one of the Cannonballers has a bounty on their head."

"Give them one of our undercover vehicles and send them out there." Hogg ordered. "Obviously this person is dangerous and must be brought to justice."

"Yes Boss."

**Author's Comment: Read, review and send me your guess on the top three that YOU think will win. Everything is explained on Chapter 2. Next chapter the voting begins and that too is explained at the end of Chapter 2.**


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